Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Everyone Is Friggin Pregnant...

dress: F21; tights: Hue via Macy's; boots: Steve Madden (Nettle); jewelry: I made; belt: Kohl's
I’m feeling a bit down today and the reason I’m feeling down? Everyone is PREGNANT! Bloggers I follow, cousins, friends….when’s it gonna be my turn?! *pushed out bottom lip* I never thought I would be saying that. I always thought I was going to be a “if we get pregnant, we get pregnant” now that I actually want to I have absolutely no patience! “It could take up to a year” my doctor said – oh hell no! If it takes a year, I’m gonna end up eating a whole gallon of ice cream per week. I’m totally eating my feelings as of late. I’m not gaining baby weight, just depression weight. My impatience is making my waistline grow. I knew I wasn’t going to be one of those ladies that got pregnant on the first try, nothing really plays out that easily in my life experience, but it still sucks. I stated that to myself as a defense mechanism so I wouldn’t be disappointed early on, well, it didn’t work… L Instead of tapping my foot while I wait, I'm stomping around like a buffalo. (A buffalo in a blue floral dress no less.)
As a woman I’ve spent a ½ of my life avoiding pregnancy with preventatives. It seemed so easy to get pregnant if you were not, now that I want to, why isn’t it as easy as I thought it was going to be? Lame. And just when I actually start to believe “it’s totally fine, it’s going to happen. Don’t worry” I turn around and someone else is pregnant and I get down again. I’m having a hard time being unconditionally happy for these people with this oppressive want hanging over my head. I’m not an asshole, but it’s making me feel like one. I just need to be happy with the potential to have a baby and that we might meet that potential. Some people cannot have babies at all and I’m not there yet. I hope I don’t ever arrive there either. Life may require it, but for right now, I need to believe that won’t be an issue and be happy with possibilities.
I saw this beautiful article yesterday about a couple who had 7 biological children and then went and adopted 1, then 2 more, then a total of 6 more. A thirteen child home- WOW! Those are the most selfless people EVER! If we can’t have children naturally, adoption is more than a possibility, but a necessity. Just writing that sentence I feel like I’m getting really ahead of myself.
It just got me thinking, that’s all.

Suck it up KellyAnn, it could be a whole heck of a lot worse. At least I still get to sit down and watch t.v. when I get home from work (after feeding the animals of course). I heard that doesn’t happen a lot when kids are in the mix. heheh 
Maybe tonight I’ll turn to low calorie frozen yogurt instead of ice cream…
So that is my outpouring of emotion for today…Hopefully I’ll feel better tomorrow after a good nights sleep.
A small pick me up is - Tomorrow is Wednesday!!! Hump day - Friday will be that much closer.


Emilina Sassperina said...

This outfit is so cute, I want to steal it from you and wear it myself!

I totally can empathize... all my friends are married and now trying to get pregnant... I feel like I'm the last one to it!

Natasha said...

First off I LOVE your dress!

I totally get what you're saying. I already have a 17 month old daughter...with her I got pregnant the first month of trying...I wanted my children to be 2 years or a bit less apart in age, hubby and I have been trying since August...and nothing is happening..I'm getting sooooo frusterated (probably because it was so easy the first time, and we're not doing anything differently). It would definitely be worse for me if I didn't have a kid to enjoy already...but I totally understand the frusteration...I don't know how it is for you, but for me EVERYONE is constantly asking/bugging me about when the next one's coming..and I'm seriously getting to the point where I have to tell people how rude what they're saying actually is.
Wow that was a bit of a rant!!
I keep telling myself that it's ok because everything happens for a reason...but patience is running thin!

Good luck with everything!!

(sorry I really didn't mean for this to sound like I was saying poor me poor me, all I wanted to say is I get the frusteration, but I'm grateful that I have an amazing daughter to make things easier)

Natasha ~ Required2BeInspired

Tiffany said...

i tried on a similar dress at F21 yesterday but it didnt look as great on me as this one does on you. Super cute! The boots and accessories complement it perfectly.

Thick Threads said...

Love the dress! great colors! and good luck with the pregnancy! :) It will happen when the time is right